I wrote this piece a year ago, when a friend found out her best friend was something she didn’t recognize anymore. I hope you enjoy!
Monthly Archives: August 2018
My toddler’s full of sh*t
We had our yearly wellness check for Coraline this morning. I like her doctor, as much as I can like doctors. I think once anyone has had a fairly major illness the negative feeling kinda linger. But I told my anxiety and hostility to suck it. After all, it’s a wellness check: boring but with a little luck, you aren’t stuck in the waiting room for more than 20 minutes and don’t have to see them for another year.
We struck gold in the waiting room. Call into the patient’s roomo within five minutes! Then it was height/weight check: good, the is your child functioning normally questions: goodl Does she watch too much tv/ipad: probably but hey we will fudge the numbers a bit to get by.
15 minutes later, the doctors telling up how good her heart and lungs are and I’m thanking my lucky stars until he checks her stomach.
There’s a lump, and after a quick well this could be nothing (constipation) , he immediately sends us to xrays.
I over course am having a mini panic attack. I’ve been around enough doctors offices to know its never a good sign when the immediately send you for anything. . But as a parent you can’t just explode all over the floor so I bit my lip while…..
my Doctor Google brain goes to the worst case scenerio (Everything is cancer! Everything is cancer when you google it!…..)
Luckily, our complex has outpatient xrays so they were able to get us in pretty quickly.
However, an hour later we are back in her pediatrian’s waiting room.
At this point, Coraline, is hungry and tired of sitting.
I have, after an extensive google search, found every horrible possibility it could be and am silently cursing everyone who is called from the waiting room before us.
Kyle is shooting me dirty looks and telling me to stop worrying.
Minnie Mouse blares on the tv.
Another fifteen minutes and we are back in the patient’s room. Coraline’s running around as she always does, and me, well I’m making a mental check list of the worst case of scenerios and wondering how a kid who is never sick and full of energy could be really really sick…..
The wait seems like a forever, it’s probably three minutes.
“Let’s look at your xray, I’ll admit I was worried by the feel but this xray is reassuring.”
Do I have to I think to myself, but am releaved that he seems to think it’s nothing.
Well not exactly nothing…..
She was full of poop. Like a lot of poop.
So we all get a weekend of Myralax and suppositories. Well I mean I guess I don’t get that, but I do get a weekend of giving a crabby toddler this..
But considering the alternatives, I’ll take it.
Plus when she’s older and ready for her first date, this will be a great story to share.