My toddler’s full of sh*t


We had our yearly wellness check for Coraline this morning. I like her doctor, as much as I can like doctors. I think once anyone has had a fairly major illness the negative feeling kinda linger. But I told my anxiety and hostility to suck it. After all, it’s a wellness check: boring but with a little luck, you aren’t stuck in the waiting room for more than 20 minutes and don’t have to see them for another year.

We struck gold in the waiting room. Call into the  patient’s roomo within five minutes! Then it was height/weight check: good, the is your child functioning normally questions: goodl  Does she watch too much tv/ipad: probably but hey we will fudge the numbers a bit to get by.

15 minutes later, the doctors telling up how good her heart and lungs are and I’m thanking my lucky stars until he checks her stomach.

There’s a lump, and after a quick well this could be nothing (constipation) , he immediately sends us to xrays.


I over course am having a mini panic attack. I’ve been around enough doctors offices to know its never a good sign when the immediately send you for anything. .  But as a parent you can’t just explode all over the floor so I bit my lip while…..

my Doctor Google brain goes to the worst case scenerio (Everything is cancer! Everything is cancer when you google it!…..)

Luckily, our complex has outpatient xrays so they were able to get us in pretty quickly.

However, an hour later we are back in her pediatrian’s waiting room.

At this point, Coraline, is hungry and tired of sitting.

I have, after an extensive google search, found every horrible possibility it could be and am silently cursing everyone who is called from the waiting room before us.

Kyle is shooting me dirty looks and telling me to stop worrying.

Minnie Mouse blares on the tv.

Another fifteen minutes  and we are back in the  patient’s room. Coraline’s running around as she always does, and me, well I’m making a mental check list of the worst case of scenerios and wondering how a kid who is never sick and full of energy could be really really sick…..

The wait seems like a forever, it’s probably three minutes.

“Let’s look at your xray, I’ll admit I was worried by the feel but this xray is reassuring.”

Do I have to I think to myself, but am releaved that he seems to think it’s nothing.

Well not exactly nothing…..

She was full of poop. Like a lot of poop.

So we all get a weekend of Myralax and suppositories. Well I mean I guess I don’t get that, but I do get a weekend of giving a crabby toddler this..

But considering the alternatives, I’ll take it.

Plus when she’s older and ready for her first date, this will be a great story to share.



Staying home with a baby? Gesh, you have to have time to write a novel…., right

Don’t tell people you are taking time off to raise a baby (a whooping month btw then I’m back tutoring English and teaching three courses at a technical college.) because the first thing they will say, if they know you are a writer is, “Oh that’s so great for you, when are you going to write the next great American novel?”

sleepingThen, they will stand there, starring at the circles under you eyes as you shake from the caffeine that you have been dumping into your body, waiting for a response: a chapter or two you have written or a detailed outline of your next great work.

No I haven’t had time to craft a great novel.

Actually I now spend most of my time bathing in baby vomit and desperately trying to stay awake. Oh and then do those little things like eat in the hour or so of sleep my baby does before she screams 🙂

I have though had time to do some shorter project, such as starting a crafting store with my friend, specializing in our geeky love of comic. We are selling our work at Kokomo Con this year. It should be a fun experiment in self-marketing and promotion, something I hope to take over to my own independent writing.

I’m also seeing progress on my Children’s book (look for upcoming info on it.), I’m very excited for this project.

On a sad note, which I will blog about later, I lost the illustrator for my Comic on Nikola Tesla, so now I am back to looking for an artist (if you know of anyone comment below or email me at reestanf @ I plan on launching a Kickstarted campaign for it as soon as all of my ducks are in a row.





I made a tiny terrorist (the reason I’ve been gone)

All dignity you have subsides when there is a room full of interns starring at your lady bits, as you yell at the doctor to just use the forceps to pull out the tiny child who has been stuck in your birthing canal for the last four hours….

If you haven’t noticed, I have been MIA as of late.

I present to you the reason why:


Coraline Dutch

My little tiny terrorist who pretty  much holds me hostage most of the day. But I am, like any good captive learning her ways and soon I hope to return full force to the blogging world, but until then pardon my absence, I have diapers to change and vomit to clean up.